5 Ways to stay sane as a new mom

The second the baby is born, you take on a new role as a mom. The new status gives you chills and relief when you see the small and healthy baby. This is how I felt when I saw my baby for the first time. After that, all I need to do is keep my sanity every time. 

I think I’m ready to become a mom, but the reality is that it’s not as exciting as I expected. I have met many challenges along my motherhood journey – insufficient breastmilk, sleep deprivation, baby blues, plus the baby’s cries and puke. When he grows up a few months later and is ready to be introduced to solid food, new problems arise –  feeding strikes, picky eating, and others. 

As mothers, we are often expected to remain calm, patient, and gentle at all times. But let’s be real, it’s not always easy. Some days feel like a lot. It’s hard to keep our emotions in check and not feel like we’re losing it – it feels overwhelming. Still, here are five things that I have been doing to stay sane, and I’d love to share them with you. 

Have a 1-minute pause

When I talk to my best friend about how tired I am physically and emotionally, she suggests I take a short break just to sit quietly and breathe. But, as a full-time mom who is with the baby almost 24/7, having one quiet minute feels impossible.  

Then one day, when I was in a chaotic situation – non-stop crying, unwashed dishes, dirty tables & floors, and swollen breasts – I was aware my emotions were rising, making me feel stressed. I might have screamed or cried. 

So, I took a step aside for a minute to calm myself down before dealing with all the mess. It turns out that I could manage my emotions by simply breathing – inhaling and exhaling. Here, I realized how one minute could change the situation. 

This happens because when we find ourselves in a stressful situation, the amygdala becomes active – the brain’s early warning system that detects threats and initiates a stress response – to increase heart rate, rapid breathing, and a narrowed focus. This could lead to amygdala hijack, meaning our emotional brain takes over and shuts down rational thought – we might say or do something unintentional and regret it.

In contrast, when we pause to breathe and reflect, it allows the prefrontal cortex – the brain’s executive center, taking part in rational thought, planning, empathy, and impulse control – to regulate our emotional responses. Deep breathing helps you manage your emotions and respond thoughtfully. 

From that time on, I have always set aside a minute a day to pause. Sometimes I add another minute or two when I feel overwhelmed. I could sit quietly, gaze out the window, or take a deep breath. 

Doing something I love

It’s normal to feel burned out when we have to be 24/7 with the baby. Monotonous routines combined with non-stop baby’s crying can be overwhelming. 

I found that doing something I love can bring a sense of purpose to my mediocre routine. I enjoy writing an article for 15 to 30 minutes each day. Sometimes I watch a TV series during a 30-minute pumping session. Also, I often create creative content to express my creativity and have fun with editing. 

Make a morning routine 

I didn’t have a morning routine before because my sleep routine was a mess. I had to wake up every two hours to feed the baby, making me feel drained and drowsy all day, so I couldn’t have a peaceful morning. 

After my son started solids, his sleeping routine has also changed. He begins to sleep early and stays asleep for 4 to 5 hours, so my sleep routine also gets better. I can wake up early and enjoy a quiet morning alone – preparing meals for the day and having a warm, comforting breakfast. 

This new morning routine boosts my energy and improves my mood. I feel more at ease caring for my son and am more patient with the fussiness. My routine has a better flow – I have time to take a nap with my son and a little moment for myself. 

Take it easy on house chores

Doing the chores while caring for a child can sometimes be a hassle. I still have to cook, wash dishes, and do laundry. Even though I have a helper who comes twice a week to help me clean the house, I have to finish all the chores most days. 

Also, I can’t predict my son’s mood every day – a bit fussy one day, but well-behaved another day. 

When he gets enough sleep and has a full stomach, his mood is lighter. He excitedly plays by himself, so I can use this moment to do the chores. But when he feels bored and doesn’t have much appetite, he will be clingy and fussy. At this time, I will put off doing the work and just stay with him all day. Then, I delegate some chores to my husband after he comes home from work. 

As a full-time mom, I realize the key is setting up priorities. I couldn’t rush myself to finish the chores in a day, while I have to focus on my son’s needs. So, it’s fair to leave the chores halfway to soothe my son. As a gentle reminder, this moment can’t be repeated, so enjoy it every second.  

Take care of myself  

Have you ever heard that a happy mom means a happy baby? I realized my son’s mood sometimes depends on how I react. When I’m calm and happy, he’s cheerful and cooperative. In contrast, he’s fussy and restless when I’m low-energy and grumpy. 

Staying happy all the time is unrealistic, so taking care of myself well is the point. I feel content when I’m in a good mood, healthy, and well-rested. 

I eat nutritious foods and take vitamins to maintain health. Sometimes I treat myself to something I crave, like cheesecake, an iced matcha latte, or bread, which boosts my mood all day. 

Taking a nap is a must for me. My son takes a nap twice a day, so in the afternoon we usually take a nap together. I can’t force my body to stay awake after frequent nighttime wake-ups and doing tasks all day. Lacking sleep makes me irritated and unfocused, so to avoid doing something I will regret later, my body needs to rest well. 

Before you go 

I’d say I feel you, as a new mom, is not always easy and exciting – sometimes, we just need to get through the day without losing our minds. It’s all normal because of shifted priorities, delayed tasks, and new routines. The point is, as long as you feel content, your children will feel the same. As a gentle reminder, you won’t have the same moment again because children grow so fast, making every second feel so precious. Stay strong for all the moms! We’re doing great!